


Animal Cookies

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Coffee Shops, Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 03:19:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Josh meets a man in a coffee shop with a weird habit and an inability to move on. Tyler doesn't want to grow up.





	Animal Cookies

Animal crackers. That's what the boy, no, the man pulls out of his red backpack. 

Josh wasn't paying attention at first, he'd just walked into the café for shelter from the rain and a well needed cup of coffee, but as soon as the man hunched at a table in the corner pulled out animal biscuits, Josh couldn't help but look.

There were only two other people in the whole café and Josh hadn't come in before, he usually goes to his local Starbucks, but there was something baffling about a grown man eating children's biscuits. 

Josh sips his black coffee and watches, glancing away every few seconds to hide how he was staring. The man sets the hot drink on the table in front of him, never stopping to look out of the window onto the street beside him, and struggles with the packet because his hands are shaking so much. 

It takes him an embarrassingly long time to open something made for kids, but he digresses, taking out the first cookie and looking at it intently. 

Josh thinks he's only looking to see what animal shape it's printed into, but the man seems genuinely concerned with inspecting it, turning it over and over in his hands as if he's checking for something. 

The man then hesitantly puts it into his mouth, and seems to be mentally counting each chew, while his eyes remain blank. 

Out of nowhere, the man turns to Josh, who is only two tables away. 

"Why are you staring at me?" The man's voice is gravelly, yet not at all deep. 

Josh raises his eyebrows. "I'm, uh, I'm not staring?" He lies. 

"Yeah you were." The man blinks, and before Josh can answer, he sighs. "It's the animal cookies, right?"

Josh glances at the purple wrapper in the man's shaking hands. Josh remembers he is not a good liar. 

"It's just, it's not something you see every day, is all." Josh says honestly, he remembers eating the cookies himself as a child, he doesn't recall ever seeing anyone over the age of nine eating them until today. It's weird. 

"No, I get it." The man says, he has pulled out another cookie and is inspecting it like the one before it. 

He eats the cookie intently and takes forever like the first one, and Josh nurses his coffee, watching the rain outside and avoiding looking at the man. 

Josh is forced to remember eating them as a kid, he kinda remembers the cheap choclatey taste, he thinks his mom must've put them in his lunchbox a few times. He remembers each was shaped like a certain jungle animal, they all tasted the same, but Josh preferred the lions.

As if on cue, the man pulls out another cookie. 

"What shape is it?" Josh asks, he doesn't know if it's out of genuine curiosity in the man or the biscuit. He decides he doesn't care. 

The man, who has been inspecting it meticulously, doesn't miss a beat. 

"A lion." 

Josh finishes his black coffee and leaves the café. 

 

The next day is sunny. He has no reason to go back today, yet he finds himself ordering an iced coffee with extra espresso. Josh is tired. He tells himself he needs the caffeine, he keeps telling himself that when he finds the man in the same spot he was in yeterday. 

The man is wearing the same clothes too, a black hoodie and jeans despite it being a boiling day, and a steaming drink despite it being too hot for it. He also, without failure, has a packet of animal biscuits. 

Josh wonders if he's even moved since yesterday, the man seems to be stuck in time like some sort of animal cookie ghost. 

The man goes through the routine and Josh drinks his coffee. 

"Hey Josh." The man is unpredictable. 

"How do you know my name?" Josh can't help but feel a little creeped out by this cryptic guy he only met for a second yesterday. 

"It's written on your cup." The man says.

"Oh." Josh feels like an idiot, and looks at his paper cup as if to check that it did indeed have his name in bold black sharpie written for all the world to see. He glances down at the man's cup, looking for a name. 

"And you're called Blurryf-"

"I didn't give them my real name. I'm called Tyler." The man shifts uncomfortably. 

"Why, uh, why not?" Josh stares at the fake name on Tyler's cup. It sounds like something a child would make up. 

"I don't like my name." Tyler shrugs, and places a cookie into his mouth. 

Josh thinks anyone in their right mind would rather be called Tyler than Blurryface, maybe this guy isn't entirely in his right mind. 

"I think it's a nice name." Josh tries. 

Tyler doesn't respond. He chews his cookie thoughtfully, he twitches every so often, he swallows the cookie with a visible gulp. He takes out yet another cookie. 

"What animal is it?" Josh asks. 

"It's an elephant." Tyler answers. 

"I guess you like them, huh? The cookies, I mean." Josh then takes a drink of his coffee. 

"They're alright." Tyler eats the elephant, he twitches, he swallows the elephant. 

None of them say anything for a while, the ice cubes in Josh's drink melt, Tyler seems to be sweating in the hoodie, Josh doesn't bring it up. He brings up something different. 

"Why do you eat them then?" He tries to make it sound as polite as possible. 

Tyler doesn't answer at first, he seems to be stuck in a train of thought about the elephant cookie he just ate, then he begins. 

"When I first moved out, I had to start feeding myself, I had to think about cooking and sugar content and calories and meal preparation and taste, and I had the freedom to eat whatever I want, that's the epitome of adulthood, right? Eating whatever you want, then working for the money to eat whatever you want, then thinking, obsessing over what you're going to eat next. When you're a kid you don't even have to think about it, now it's just another responsibility on your shoulders." Tyler says, staring at his hands. 

Josh thought the best thing about growing up was the food, the responsibility, the freedom. Maybe Tyler doesn't like having too much responsibility for himself. He obviously doesn't, the guy hasn't changed his clothes since yesterday, he looks like a packet of animal biscuits is all he eats in a day, Josh wonders for a second if he's homeless. 

Tyler continues. "So I decided to just take the responsibility out of it, you know? I wouldn't need to think about it if I eat the same thing, and it reminds me of when I was a kid, I can stay there, 130 calories a packet, I don't have to grow anymore, I'm 27 but I still look 22, it's so much easier now there's no more obsessing." Tyler's words become frantic. "Even the hot chocolate, I order it just to smell it mostly, and so they let me stay inside, but I used to drink this as a kid with my animal biscuits back when I didn't have to think." 

Josh is disgusted, he knows Tyler obviously has some problems, but he can't help but feel disgust, this guy is refusing to just move on. 

"Are you serious?" Josh asks. "This is obsessing. This isn't healthy, man." 

Tyler doesn't respond. He inspects the next cookie.

Josh finishes his coffee and leaves. 

The next day, Josh is back to his regular latte, Tyler and his animal biscuits are nowhere to be seen. Josh feels a little guilt for snapping at him. He drinks his coffee in silence and goes home. 

The day after that, Tyler is back, he looks rough, in the same outfit and eating the same cookies, but there's something about his demeanour that's more off than usual. He's twitching more, he looks exhausted, looks thinner than he did two days ago. 

"Tyler," Instead of his usual seat, Josh sits in the chair opposite him this time. "I'm sorry, man, it was none of my business." 

Tyler is too busy looking at his animal biscuit. It's like he doesn't even notice Josh is there. 

"Dude, come on, don't ignore me." Josh says carefully. Tyler chews intently, as if eating it takes every bit of brain power he has. 

Josh watches for a few seconds, unsure of what to say, if anything at all. 

"What shape was it?" Josh decides to ask. 

"A monkey." For the first time since they met, Tyler makes eye contact with him. 

"What shapes did you have yesterday?" Josh asks.

Tyler shakes his head a little too violently. "Oh no, no, I didn't have any yesterday." 

"Oh? Did you have something else?" Josh wonders hopefully. 

Tyler shakes his head again, something else? That's ridiculous. "No, I had nothing." 

"Tyler," Josh sighs.

"It's alright, because hunger reminds me of childhood too. Like when I messed up or didn't make the shots, I couldn't eat. So, so I'm, I-" Tyler stutters, his hands are shaking even more. 

"Hey. It's okay. You didn't mess up, Tyler, you deserve to eat. Even if you did mess up you can still eat." Josh tries to calm the stranger best he can. 

Tyler ignores Josh's attempts to calm him. "I'm glad you ask me what shapes they are. I always told my mom about the shapes and she never cared. No one cared, but I cared. I liked the tigers, it's a good day when there's tigers, there were no tigers the other day. I keep a list of all the shapes I have in a day, I have every day memorised since I started. I've been doing this for like five years, but that list in my head just gets longer every day. Lion, elephant, lion, monkey, monkey, zebra, tiger, elephant, zebra, lion, elephant, monkey, tiger, lion-" 

"Tyler stop." 

"I'm sorry." Tyler puts his head in his hands. 

"It's okay." Josh doesn't know what else to say, he doesn't know how to help this, he hasn't had anyone list off animal biscuit shapes to him while hyperventilating before, is anyone prepared for that? Maybe he's just making this guy worse. 

They don't say anything else. Josh finishes his coffee and leaves. 

The next day, Tyler is there again. He thought Tyler was unpredictable at first but he's more predictable than anyone Josh knows. He decides to sit across from him again and sip his latte as Tyler looks at the biscuits. 

After the second biscuit, Josh asks the question. "What shape is it?" 

"Tiger." Tyler says. Josh almost smiles at this. 

"Good day then?" 

Tyler thinks about it. "Better." He says quietly. Tyler eats the tiger, chews for way too long, counting each one as usual. Josh drinks his coffee. 

"Would you like one?" Tyler offers. Josh decides that Tyler really is unpredictable. 

"Uh, sure, please." Josh says, holding out his hand as Tyler struggles with taking a new biscuit out of the packet. 

Tyler drops a lion shaped cookie into Josh's palm.

**Author's Note:**

> i didnt mean for this to be a coffee shop au when i wrote it lmao, id also like to write another part where tyler gets better and eats something different because i dont want it to seem like im romanticising disordered eating, but i dont think anyone cares enough for me to write any more, anyway please leave comments and kudos!


End file.
